On Returning…



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My little girl knows how to celebrate.

I watch and learn.  She decides to throw a party for her Calico Critters, and they all have animals to ride on (that have all been trained of course) and fancy bottled drinks.  Or, she makes lemon squares from a child’s recipe book, and then invites the neighbors over to join us for dessert.

I was gone this past weekend, and as I pulled into the driveway I see my sweet girl of 9 years, face painted as a tiger, light up at the sight of my arrival. Her excitement immediately turns into urgency as she starts to scream, “Close your eyes! Close your eyes!”

She pulled me through the yard with my eyes shut tight until we arrived at the front door where she yelled, “OPEN!” And there I saw the sign hanging on the storm door…

WELCOME HOME MOMMY

I love how easily she celebrates.  It’s not difficult, or stressful, or anything that feels like a burden.  She simply looks ahead at what’s to come, and thinks of how she can embrace it with all her joy. Somewhere along the way, I think we tend to lose that joy.

When I first wanted to join my blog with my website, I couldn’t wait to have them all in one place. It seemed like the perfect plan.  However, as I began to promote the website, thoughts and pressure began to cloud over my head like a storm looming on the horizon.  Pressure to write more, or pressure to have beautiful pictures, that I took, that may or may not be professional enough. Pressure to post enough content to make people want to return, but not so much that they clicked off too quickly.  Pressure to have fun trendy tips to give, but also enough personality to allow people to get to know me.  All the while, having to keep a business afloat, with little time alone in the day to make that happen.  Looking back, I know that all the pressure made me do was shut down.  Thus, I haven’t been writing. At all.

Though in many ways, I convinced myself that I didn’t have time, or that it didn’t really matter to anyone anway, really the person who has been missing it all along has been me.  I miss it and I’ve gotten to where I don’t care if I’m living up to all my crazy unrealistic expectations.  I don’t care that it’s a professional website combined with my blog.  I don’t care that I might be getting too personal…I just know that I need to write and I need space to think.

So here it is, in all the glory of the most beautiful welcome home banner I could imagine.  I’m returning to the world of writing, whether or not it’s seen and whether or not it’s PC, I’m returning, and I’m so glad.

Comments

  1. Me too. I like what you wrote. It is beautiful and makes me want to come back to read it. And really I don’t read any blogs on a regular basis.

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